In the past few weeks, the Montrose community has lost two alumnae, Nina Kilroy '01 and Aimee Alcarez Cowan '93. Both fought cancer bravely and with grace, and then God called both home to heaven long before any of us--their classmates, their friends, and family--could have imagined.
Nina and Aimee have left the company of their friends on earth, but they join Sonia Daly Belcher '94 and Dary Jacob '05, and all of our friends in heaven. May they rest in peace, in the company of Our Lord and the angels.
Please share your thoughts, memories, prayers, and tributes for Nina and Aimee.
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Aimee Alcarez Cowan has been such a bright spot in so many lives, but mine especially. I remember my first days at Montrose - the new girl starting in 9th grade when the small class mostly had been together from the 6th grade. A small, skinny, freckled red head told me her name and that we were going to be such good friends. The smile on her face was so wide and open. Who Wouldn't take to her so quickly? Our friendship was quick to start and stayed strong. She was my Anne of Green Gables to my Diana Barry. We used to say we were sisters separated at birth. Always optimistic, she always seemed to be the first girl in school (thanks to her sister, our wonderful Spanish teacher) ready to greet everyone. I knew when I finally dragged myself into school, she would be there at one of the circle tables in the cafeteria just waiting for me. It was such an indescribable joy to know someone who would be bursting to talk to you everyday. In the last two years of school, the smile, while always one of happiness to see me, was also one of relief that I was there to help her with the Math homework from Miss Tsiang. Nothing could diminish the joy she brought. She treated everyone, in our class and in all other classes, with a gentle air that drew people to her like moths to a flame. There are so many memories of her in the day-to-day high school, I can't even being to write them down. So many "Aimee-isms" that would happen, always with her characteristic laugh punctuating almost her every sentence. She loved life and life loved her right back. She would occasionally stay over my house, and we'd sleep on the first floor talking all night long. When we graduated, we had a fierce promise to stay in touch. These days, it's hard to do just that, but we managed. Never mattered how long it had been since we last spoke, it was always like we had just spoken the day before; you could pick up a two-year old conversation and keep it going. I know because we used to do just that. I remember she gave me a pretty blue porcelain vase, with her saying: "it's Ming vasey-ish". I have her postcards from her semester in Rome, her lengthy real letters we would write to one another, all about family news and her drawing pictures to me for laughs. I went to her Thomas More graduation and she told me she almost wore the exact same dress as I did! Oh we had so many laughs. We were always on the same wavelength. She came to my college graduation, doing her half Aimee-run - the one we all know and love - to meet me on the grass, lugging a beautiful lantern as a gift for me that weighed almost as much as she did. I was on her first round of calls when she became engaged to Will, spent time with her and the family at the shower and her wedding. She was the most beautiful bride. She asked me to make her wedding cake and I was so proud to be able to share a little part in her day. At the end of the reception, just as I was about to make the long trek home from Grafton, one of her sisters stopped me and gave me a gift from Aimee. A thank you gift for making the wedding cake. That unselfish act sums up Aimee loving ways: on her most important day, when all the focus should be on her, and amid all the flurry of activity of planning a wedding, she thought and cared enough to get me something as a thank you, which I will cherish always. I remember her telling me she was pregnant and the baby shower. No matter what we did or where we were, we never missed the annual Christmas card or birthday card (Shakespeare's birthday, fitting, isn't it?). Aimee told me on my birthday she was sick. I was in California on a job and almost missed her call. When I asked how things were, she hesitated and I knew something was wrong. I forced it out of her, despite her protests that it was nothing and she laughed and said she would have told me before it got "really bad". I remember being all alone in California in a office with a beautiful view, crying because my best friend for almost 20 years was hit with this. She made me promise to go to the beach and sit there watching the sunset and have a drink for her - she would be there toasting me in spirit. In the time since she told me the news, we tried to get together, but were unable to due to her health. I know towards the end she was exhausted all the time, so we would text via cell phone, so I wouldn't tire her out talking in our marathon phone chats. She never once complained about having this burden. I used to complain for her and she'd say "oh Beth, no, no, it's ok, really". We kept saying to each other, when you get through this, we'll do this or that. I know my texts made her smile and gave her courage some days. Other days, she gave me courage to deal. I would try and make her laugh all the time as her laugh was infectious and precious to me. Her greatest joys in life were her family: Will, Xavier and Tilly. Will has been a most amazing man. A true saint, never complaining or even seeming sad or down. He has put Aimee first on everything, tending to Aimee's every need with a devotion only one in deep love can have for someone. I will be forever grateful for him for the joy he brought Aimee and the unfailing updates to the blog. On the Saturday night just a few days before she passed away, I received one final text from Aimee. She signed it as she did all our texts: "love ya. A". Well A, I love you back and always will. I will never forget you. You are a true kindred spirit and will always be my best friend.
ReplyDeleteBeth Graham '93
My goodness... my thoughts about Aimee are so numerous, I just don't think there is enough room here... So, I will share my highlights...
ReplyDeleteI met Aimee when I was a visitor to the 6th grade class. I was lucky enough to sit next to her during all the classes. She was so sweet, and I was so scared... She promised me all would be alright - and of course, because of her soft voice, I completely believed her... and she was right.
We shared Miss Tsiang's gym class... I think that Gwen, Aimee, Granya, Liz and myself were always in the last little group running those marathons.. It was the time we all spent chatting instead of running... besides, what was running anyways...
I loved watching her on stage... I loved her passion for english... She helped me through many an English project... I didn't have the fervor that she did for that particular art.
In general, I found her profound love of Christ inspiring... and her gentle ways admirable.
We lost touch after high school. It really wasn't until another Montrosian had pointed me in the direction of her family blog that I had been able to reconnect with her. I am so thankful for the last year and a half. I was able to sign onto her blog about two posts after her diagnosis. This led me to her email... and many many emails back and forth. I never got the chance to talk with her, but we did email. My mother in law was diagnosed with cancer this past december, right when I found out I was pregnant... Aimee sent me many inspiring and thoughtful emails offering up great prayers for my family - how unselfish of her - and she sent a congratulations note when my Marc was born, which also sent with it a sympathy note for my mother in law's passing.
Her note to me simply stated to Trust in Him... She emphasized that we do not know the plan, nor do we understand the plan, we just have to have faith that there IS a plan and it is run by GOD who knows all, and understands all. I accepted that, and have tried to live that.
Her husband Will, although I have never met him, must be truly amazing. Her smile in those pictures with him is from ear to ear. Her children, I know, were her everything... I can not imagine their pain.
I can only hope that all her pain is gone now... and that she has been given her wings - I know she deserves them!!
And now, I pray to her and for her, I know she is very close to God now.
And I pray that Mary, Our Mother, holds Aimee dear as one mother to another, so she may watch her children grow from above with loving arms around her.
To all those who loved her and knew her, my heart goes out to you.
God bless you all...
God Bless Aimee and her family...
And may Aimee's memory forever be on our hearts and minds...
~~ Christy (Kennett) Skopal '94
Nina was the most unlikely of freinds. When I first met her in 6th grade,I was suprised that such a small, quiet girl could be so full of fun and life. We carpooled together throughout our seven years at Montrose and she was the first face I saw every morning as I rolled out of my bed and raced down the front steps, pulling on my knee high socks and skirt. We spent those 20 frenzied, heartstopping minute ride to Montrose belting out Disney lyrics at the top of our lungs, doing last minute homework and cramming for tests, and one certain occasion, beeping, swearing at, and dangerously tailgating a certain Montrose faculty member ( Opps sorry Miss OD). I don't know if I could have gotten through seven years at Montrose without her by my side. She stood up for me when I didn't have the courage to, listened to my nonsensical rants and raves,helped find the million items I misplaced every day,helped me with last minute papers and crammings of exams. She was my partner in crime throughout it all,with sneaking wrong books into enrichment, senior pranks,wearing forbidden colored socks, and the subsequent detentions. She was the best friend anyone could ever ask for.
ReplyDeleteThe one memory I hold dear in my heart may sound like a strange one, but I think its a little daily way to remember her by.
Whenever Nina would go up stairs, she would absolutely stomp up them with as much strength as she could. She would really put them in their place. And to this day, how do I remember her? When I myself stomp up stairs, overcoming obstacles, fighting with all my strength.Every day, I smile a little smile and remember her as I stomp up my own stairs.
Every day i think of something i want to tell her, and little memories I have of us together. Her not letting me into the Lisa frank club in six grade, us going to Market Basket on a Sunday morning and having to fight tooth and nail with all the little old ladies, summers of MV, driving in the car with her. Just small things, but I know she's still alive in my heart, and so is our friendship.